I’m an avid reader.
I often alternate between fiction and non, as I enjoy getting lost in a story as much as I love to dive deep into fitness, nutrition, emotional health, spirituality, and business.
I was excited to take a bite out of Miguel’s Angel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, but when I settled into the late afternoon warmth of my pool, I devoured the whole thing!
I had to share a quick synopsis on this inspiring read.
Below are the 4 Agreements. They just might change your life:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Honor others and perhaps more importantly, honor yourself.
Speaking to yourself with love and kindness squeezes out any room to stew hate toward anyone else. Love breeds love.
Also, this means that you’ll do what you say you’ll do.
Say you’re going to not eat sugar this month? Don’t.
Are you going to work out 4x this week? Do!
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Man, this one is hard.
Yet, our feelings are ours and we have control over them once we let go of preconceived notions of how things are supposed to be.
The story we’ve learned and the story we tell ourselves is just that. A story.
Ruiz rightly reminds us that we are so tightly glued to our own stories!
Yet, if what if it didn’t matter if we were right? If we ignored our old programming and the stories we’re so loyal to?
I love in the book that it also says to not take yourself personally! Far too often we spew our own venom toward ourselves.
This might be the most challenging of the agreements.
And yet I also think that in honoring the others this can flow more smoothly.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Man I love this.
Assuming your story is the right one doesn’t work.
Not communicating doesn’t work. What to do instead?
Be brave enough to ask questions.
Be brave enough to listen and consider.
Be brave enough to let go of your story.
Be brave enough to find your voice and ask for what you need and want.
Be brave enough to be vulnerable and ask for what it is you’re needing. It’s usually just for a little more love.
4. Always Do Your Best
Just do it.
You’ll falter. You’ll waiver. But you can try again.
Some favorite quotes from the book:
“Whenever we feel the emotions of anger, jealousy, envy, or hate, we experience a fire burning within us. We are living in a dream of hell.”
“We have the need to be right and to make others wrong. We trust what we believe, and our beliefs set us up for suffering. It is as if we live in middle of a fog that doesn’t let us see any further than our own nose.”
“To be alive is the greatest fear humans have…our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive–the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”
“We judge others according to our image of perfection as well, and naturally they fall short of our expectations.”
“But nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves, and it is the Judge, the Victim, and the belief system that make us do this.”
“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
“We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe.”
“Even if we hear something and we don’t understand, we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.”
Is there an agreement you feel you’d benefit from focusing on? If you’d be willing, I’d love it if you’d share in the comments below.
Here’s a link to the book:
Thank you for reading and for your comments!